I have to admit to not being as strong and evolved as you when it comes to this issue; for some reason I have not been able to let go of the concept of wanting – no, needing – everyone to love me. EVERYONE. Even the people I don’t care for myself. (Perhaps even especially those people…)It’s almost like it’s a challenge for me; something to WIN, you know? Which is wrong, I realize; and weak in its own way.Perhaps this is because I’ve always BELIEVED I’m fairly easy to get along with; not too harsh or sharp or opinionated-out-loud; my entire family is full of people who smile and shake hands and bend over backward to make others feel good, comfortable, happy. (For better or worse.) My natural instinct is to think, “But why? Why don’t you like me? What can I do to make you love me?” (Bonnie Raitt, anyone?)So. Although I realize there have surely been people for whom I was not their cup of tea, I am rarely aware of it and when I do discover someone doesn’t like me, it’s devastating.I wish I had the wisdom to say it doesn’t matter. But I’d be lying. Fortunately, the internet has allowed people to sort of anonymously select those with whom they click (on blogs, facebook, twitter) and cut away from those who clash with us. I remember *meeting* you at Leanne’s place and there was an instant connection which we’ve nurtured. With others, the results have been less…successful. But I’ve never had open conflict with anyone online. So, my dear Renee, THANK YOU for sharing your story and your insight; and going forward I will keep in mind that there are plenty of people (like you and Nina!!!) who like me just the way I am.Either that, or I’ll start therapy…
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I have to admit to not being as strong and evolved as you when it comes to this issue; for some reason I have not been able to let go of the concept of wanting – no, needing – everyone to love me. EVERYONE. Even the people I don’t care for myself. (Perhaps even especially those people…)It’s almost like it’s a challenge for me; something to WIN, you know? Which is wrong, I realize; and weak in its own way.Perhaps this is because I’ve always BELIEVED I’m fairly easy to get along with; not too harsh or sharp or opinionated-out-loud; my entire family is full of people who smile and shake hands and bend over backward to make others feel good, comfortable, happy. (For better or worse.) My natural instinct is to think, “But why? Why don’t you like me? What can I do to make you love me?” (Bonnie Raitt, anyone?)So. Although I realize there have surely been people for whom I was not their cup of tea, I am rarely aware of it and when I do discover someone doesn’t like me, it’s devastating.I wish I had the wisdom to say it doesn’t matter. But I’d be lying. Fortunately, the internet has allowed people to sort of anonymously select those with whom they click (on blogs, facebook, twitter) and cut away from those who clash with us. I remember *meeting* you at Leanne’s place and there was an instant connection which we’ve nurtured. With others, the results have been less…successful. But I’ve never had open conflict with anyone online. So, my dear Renee, THANK YOU for sharing your story and your insight; and going forward I will keep in mind that there are plenty of people (like you and Nina!!!) who like me just the way I am.Either that, or I’ll start therapy…
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